


Reflection

by rhoen



Category: Naruto
Genre: Advice, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Hopeful Ending, M/M, No Uchiha Massacre, Not Beta Read, Old Senju Tobirama, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Relationship Advice, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 12:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/rhoen
Summary: For the sake of Uchiha-Hyuuga clan relations, and the strength of the village, it makes sense for Shisui to let go of what he doesn't yet have with Itachi.He just wishes it didn't hurt so much, and that he had someone he could turn to for comfort and support.





	Reflection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KalessinAstarno](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalessinAstarno/gifts).



> I'M SO SORRY!!!! I wanted to write something fun, maybe something fluffy, maybe something flirty. This happened instead, I'm truly sorry to gift you something like this Kali. I hope it's not too much to read and please, please, please don't feel obliged to read it just because I wrote it.
> 
> I've fiddled around with things a little. Tobirama lived, Kagami still died when he was 25, but Minato and Kushina didn't die as the Nine Tails never attacked and the Uchiha Massacre didn't take place. The Uchiha, like a few other clans, try to keep to themselves, and some Uchiha *cough*Fugaku*cough* care more about clan prestige and status within the village than others.
> 
> Tobirama I guess could be seen as a little OOC, but he's an old dude and Shisui is Kagami's grandson. He's getting soft (and lonely) in his old age.
> 
> Started at 4am. What can I say? I was inspired! Sadly my brain is still in a mood with me, so looking over for errors is inordinately difficult. I would ask that you please forgive me for any that you see.

It’s been too long since Shisui last visited his grandfather’s grave. He stands, staring down at the name he regards with such pride and admiration, and feels regret twist within him. The grave is clean, having been tended to, as all the others without families and friend to visit are, by groundskeepers who make sure none are forgotten. A leaf skitters across the smooth, pale stone, and Shisui crouches down to brush it off, his fingers lingering on the kanji of Kagami’s name.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and then bows his head, reaching out with his heart to try and find his grandfather’s spirit. He needs him. He needs guidance, and to feel like he’s not alone.

As always, there is nothing there. The world around him is unchanged, the gentle breeze tugging at his clothes and hair, bringing the sweetness of the earth with it. The cemetery itself is filled with the silence sound of a thousand ghosts holding their breaths, waiting for their chance to speak, but Kagami’s presence isn’t amongst them. No matter how hard he tries, Shisui can’t feel him there.

With nowhere else to go, and no one else to turn to, he stays kneeling by his grandfather’s grave, staring at the grass as it swirls in the wind. His gaze is unfocused, but his senses pick up every minute change around him, listening just as much for danger as for guidance. Birds call a respectful distance from the cemetery, the trees lining the border sigh and whisper in the breeze, and he hears a burst of laughter somewhere beyond the walls. Life flows on.

And he is lost, helpless beneath its weight. His heart, battered and bruised, yearns for company, but there is no one to fill the empty space beside him. There is no one who can offer counsel or guidance, or who can listen to his pains. In the grand scheme of things they aren’t that great, but to Shisui’s heart they are everything. Itachi is his everything.

“It’s been a while.”

Those soft words startle Shisui almost as much as the fact someone managed to come so close without him realising. He surges to his feet, kunai concealed in his hand as he turns, and finds himself face-to-face with the very last man he expected to see.

Senju Tobirama is as calm as ever, his face impassive. Sharp red eyes that have not dulled over the years watch Shisui keenly as he waits, letting Shisui decide how to react.

Shisui pockets the kunai, turning to look back down at the gravestone. It has been a while since he visited, but he’s not sure how Tobirama knows, or if that’s even what he meant.

The old Hokage is the one who breaks the silence. “Come.”

The word is an order, one Shisui hesitates over out of surprise. “Where to?”

A look silences him, reminding him that a good shinobi doesn’t ask why, but what they can do.

He doesn’t expect an answer.

“There's something you need to see.”

And, with that, Tobirama turns and walks away, leaving Shisui to stare after him for a moment until his body takes over. He follows, unable to fathom what in the world the Second Hokage could have to show him.

He thought they might go into the village, towards the archives or official buildings. He half thought they might go the memorial, or to look at some other important monument. He doesn’t expect Tobirama to lead him away from the village, into the wooded area close to the Senji’s district. He can barely conceal his confusion when, coming across a stream bubbling beneath the dappled canopy of old oak trees, Tobirama settles down on the grass.

Shisui glances around, at the small, natural clearing. Around them all he can hear is wildlife, and the rushing of water.

“Sit.”

Confused, Shisui does as he’s told, watching the old man. A Senju is always a Senju, Fugaku often warns, but Shisui is more concerned by the unknown than he is some ancient clan feud that refuses to die in the more paranoid of minds.

“I hear talks between the Uchiha and Hyuuga are tense,” Tobirama says.

Shisui nods. There’s no point denying it. There are rumours in the village that the two clans are attempting to negotiate a closer arrangement through marriage, but few know the exact details. After all, who would expect Fugaku to allow his eldest son to marry outwith the clan, and who in a closely guarded clan like the Hyuuga wouldn’t be suspicious of such a proposal.

Things are tense, and tentative. The majority of both clans would rather cling to old tradition than forge a new path.

“It might be some time before agreements can be reached,” Tobirama continues, watching Shisui keenly.

Shisui doesn’t like it. He only remains still because that’s what he’s trained to do.

“What are your thoughts on the matter?”

His control slips.

Tobirama can’t be asking him this. An old Senju, retired from his position as Hokage, wouldn’t be asking an Uchiha clan member this. In part, it’s none of the old man’s business, but why would Shisui’s opinion matter? He’s a good shinobi and useful to his village and his clan, but nothing else besides. He’s from a branch family within the Uchiha, his reputation built on his skill rather than the lottery of who his parents were.

“I’m not sure it’s my place to say,” he says at last.

To his surprise, a smile tugs at Tobirama’s mouth, the lines around his eyes deepening.

“You are a credit to your clan, and to the village,” Tobirama says, before his voice softens. “You remind me so much of him.”

The breath is crushed from Shisui’s lungs when he realises who Tobirama is talking about. His eyes wide, he stares as the old Senju regards him, his heart racing. “How well did you know him?”

Because all Shisui ever knew was that Tobirama lead his grandfather’s genin team for a time. Beyond that, he assumed they were nothing more than fellow shinobi, crossing paths now and then. They were in different clans, moving in different circles. Right now, though, any link to Kagami is comforting. It’s not the guidance Shisui longs for, but it helps him feel less alone.

Tobirama’s smile remains, but his expression is one Shisui can’t read. For a moment the Senju seems lost in thought, his usually keen gaze slipping as if he’s seeing something that isn’t there. With an almost imperceptible shake of his head, he looks down, easing something out from within his breast pocket.

“This is for you,” he says, holding the small, profound offering out. Shisui can’t explain why, but he knows it’s important. It’s to do with his grandfather.

Slowly, he reaches out. The air stirs around them, murmuring in approval as something warm and metallic drops into Shisui’s palm.

It’s a pendant, strung on one of the finest chains Shisui has ever seen. It shines brightly, the silver metal polished by years of contact with skin: a lifetime of being touched. The pendant is nothing more than a plain, circular disk, hinged on one side, but Shisui stares at it with breathless wonder.

“It was his,” Tobirama tells him needlessly. “He would want you to have it.”

There’s so much Shisui doesn’t understand about this moment, and about this pendant. He can’t understand why Tobirama has is, why he kept it for long. Part of him wonders if this is a trick, but he knows in his heart that it’s not. This was his grandfather’s…

His trembling thumb smooths over the mirrored surface, the fragmented green and blue of the canopy reflected in it. “Why?” is all he can manage to ask.

Tobirama shifts, starting to stand with a slowness afforded to him by old age. “Even in the darkest of times, there is hope.”

Shisui doesn’t understand. He looks up at the Senju, waiting for more, but it doesn’t come. The old man turns to walk away, and Shisui knows he’s not supposed to follow.

His attention falls back to the pendant, the image of it fracturing as, for the first time in his life, he can feel his grandfather with him. Before it was always a whisper, something in his blood holding him close to the memory of a man he never met, but now…

He struggles not to drop the necklace as he turns the slender disk over, the chain dangling from his fingertips as he studies the blank reverse. The pendant is simple, and would be almost unremarkable if it weren’t for the fact that time hasn’t dulled it in the slightest. He knows that within this delicate, enduring metalwork is a secret that will bring him closer to his grandfather than ever before.

His fingers trembling, he searches for the way in. Finding it, he pries the two halves open, and suddenly understands why Tobirama had this thing.

His heart understands long before his mind catches up, and before he’s truly process what’s he’s seeing he’s moving. His heart racing and body trembling, he bolts after Tobirama, barely able to draw breath.

“Hokage-sama!”

Tobirama has gone further than Shisui realised, forcing him to chase after him.

“Wait!” he pleads, almost tripping over his feet in a frantic bid to reach the other man. It briefly occurs to him to flicker closer, but when he tries he stumbles. “Wait!”

When he crashes into another clearing, Tobirama almost seems to be waiting for him. He turns towards Shisui, regarding him evenly as he gasps for air.

“I can’t accept this!” Shisui protests, shoving the precious thing back towards the other man.

A cool, weathered hand closes over his, rejecting the offer. “It’s yours now,” he says far too evenly for someone who has just given away something so priceless.

“But—!”

And then Tobirama changes his mind, taking the pendant back with ease. Shisui barely hesitates to let go. He’s desperate to hold onto any link he has to Kagami, but not like this: not when it deprives Tobirama of something this important.

“It’s yours,” Tobirama repeats, letting the pendant slide down as he opens the delicate chain up, reaching forward to secure it around Shisui’s neck. Too late, Shisui realises it's truly being given to him. “I have no need of it now.”

Shisui’s fingers come up to touch the smooth disk, feeling a warmth that can only come from years of devoted reverence. This gift was loved deeply, and worn constantly.

He feels like he’s stealing something from Tobirama – from _them_. His mind reels as he remembers the two names delicately etched within the locket, and the dates: Tobirama & Kagami, 28th August-forever.

No clan names.

Just them.

Together, forever.

“You can’t give it away,” Shisui tries to reason, but even as he speaks his fingers tighten around the locket. He looks at Tobirama – really, truly looks at him – and sees someone he never knew existed before.

“It was mine to give to whomsoever I pleased,” Tobirama says. “Just as it was his, and it is now yours. Accept it.”

“But I…” Shisui breathes weakly. He doesn’t feel like he deserves it. “You… You can’t let go of him.”

“I never will.”

Tobirama’s words are binding, a vow Shisui can _feel_ , as if it were part of the ground beneath his feet and the air around them.

“I’m giving this to you now for a reason, Shisui.”

Tobirama says his name with such tenderness Shisui finds himself choking back tears. It's been so long since he's heard his name like that.

“You’re like him in so many ways," the old man continues. "You’re a strong shinobi, a skilled leader. You’re kindhearted and generous with feelings others – including myself – are afraid to show. You put others before yourself time and time again, never questioning what must be done for good of the village and its people.”

He pauses, leaving Shisui trembling as he realises just how much Tobirama is revealing about Kagami, and how deeply the Senju loved, respected and admired him. The normally stoic man doesn’t bestow praise lightly, nor where he feels it isn’t deserved.

“But you are selfless to a fault.” His words bring Shisui back to the present, cowing him. “Your loyalty to your clan is too rigid. I know what this union between the Uchiha and Hyuuga means, and I know you won’t protest it, even though you want to.”

Shisui’s heart breaks anew. Tobirama is right. He hasn’t done anything but step back, trying to make this as easy for Itachi as possible. This course of action is the best for both the good of their clan and, more importantly, the strength of their village.

“No, I won’t,” he confirms. “It’s not my place to stand in their way.”

Tobirama sighs softly. “You know, your grandfather and I didn’t have long together, just a few brief years. It’s more than most have, but it was nowhere near enough for me. I wanted so much more.”

The pendant around his neck feels heavier, warmer, as Shisui truly realises what the man before him meant to his grandfather. He can’t even begin to imagine the loss the other man felt, nor fathom how he’s carried that burden all these years. Perhaps it’s the weight of it that leaves him so open now, so willing to confide in Shisui things he never imagined he’d hear.

“But if you asked me to choose between what we had and all the knowledge and riches in the world,” Tobirama continues, “I would choose Kagami. I would choose him every time, even if all we could have was just one day together. One day would be worth it.”

Shisui pretends not to notice the glassiness of the old man’s eyes, instead looking down at the pendant. He sees himself in its reflection, his features distorted just enough to make him question who it is looking back at him.

“Fugaku will object,” he says at length.

“Yes,” Tobirama agrees, “and others will too, but nothing is set in stone. There are other ways to bring clans closer together. If Itachi objects to the union, it could not proceed.”

Shisui finds himself lost in thought, trying to imagine it. So far all Itachi has done, like himself, is accept his fate. He didn’t reach out, he didn’t shed a tear or plead with Shisui not to let go. He’s resigned, believing this is the only option because it’s the right option.

But it’s the right option for the clan. It’s not the right option for Itachi. It won’t give him what he needs. He will, for the rest of his life, be playing yet another part. He’s already accepted it, because what else can he do?

_Just one day together_ , Shisui thinks.

It could all fall apart. Things could end up so much worse than they are now, but he suddenly can’t imagine giving up and not at least trying. Perhaps, if Itachi can see that there’s another way, and that Shisui is willing to fight for him, they can have that one day together.

Perhaps, if they fight hard enough, they can steal another day, and then another, and another…

He knows what’s at risk. The pain of loss is a terrible burden, especially for an Uchiha, but he’s already tasted it. He’d rather know the joy of love than live his whole life in shadows, his feet carrying him forward as he looks back and wonders ‘what if?’.

“Why?” he hears himself asking as he at last looks up and catches Tobirama’s eye. “Why are you telling me this?”

The Senju smiles softly, the expression clearly unfamiliar for him, but no less genuine. “It would be remiss of me not to try to offer you the counsel he would have.”

Gripping the pendant tightly, Shisui bows his head. He won't question what took so long, or why Tobirama held back until now. He's grateful to have this. “Thank you,” he says, and not just to Tobirama. His grandfather is still present, touching his life and guiding him when he needs it most.

"If you like, I could tell you about him,” Tobirama adds, the unexpected offer almost too much for Shisui to take. “It’s been a long time since I could talk to anyone about him.”

It’s Shisui’s turn to smile, his expression a fragile, delicate thing. His mind is already racing ahead, planning out his next steps and how best to approach Itachi and the growing hope that they can have a future together. The idea of sitting down with the old, perhaps lonely Senju to hear him talk about the man who has, unexpectedly, brought their lives together and given Shisui direction is welcome. He can see it bringing them both comfort.

“Thank you. It would be an honour.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kagami's name means 'mirror', so I thought the pendant was rather fitting.


End file.
